Open-hearted Love and Sharing the Dream
Are you experiencing Open-hearted Love?
Can you change the narrative? Clarify assumptions and expectations. Make explicit what is unspoken.
Name needs. Stop arguing. Start expressing and listening.
Focus on growth and the vision of your lives together.
What are you building/creating together?
What is your shared dream?
Are your daily lives reflecting your core values and leading to the place you once committed to journey towards together?
If not, what are you waiting for?
Being Cherished and Adored
What is your fantasy relationship?
Many couples that have been together through hardship wish for the ability to "Walk Together;" to be playful, to enjoy and delight in each other from the heart.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be cherished and adored by your person? What would it look and feel like Have you told them about this fantasy?
What if it were safe to be vulnerable and free? So that you could feel your face light up when you think about them. And then reach out and share that experience with them in the moment? Contact, immediacy, transparency, humility, non judgement/compassion, heart centred openness.
Can you imagine?
Time to Step Up & Don’t Hold Back
Take more responsibility than you think you need to.
For self-regulation, for soothing the other, for apologizing, for thanking and appreciating.
Trip over yourself to show your love. Be more honest. Don't hold back.
There is more revealed in one session when a relationship is on the brink of extinction than often is shared in decades of partnership.
That doesn't make sense.
Discuss what is required to create this culture of emotional safety. Gauge your capacity for providing what is needed realistically and be transparent about it so expectations can be managed accurately. Ask about the others' boundaries and protect/respect them fiercely.
The Focus Needs to be Compassion
In our homes we need to create a culture of emotional safety. Families are a very vulnerable place. Your relationship sets the tone for the relationships in the family and their future love connections. The focus needs to be compassion.
Understanding that family is a growing machine and there needs to be endless space to make mistakes, grow through them, and learn/change. In your relationship you need to feel needed, but also permission to need the other too. This requires flexibility to switch out who is leading at any given time. To be the soft place to land when the ball is dropped. Negotiation should be a daily occurrence so that everyone feels heard and power is shared.
Clarify your Needs
Commitment to the wellbeing of each other must be paramount as the rest of the family rests on your relationship.
Be transparent as guessing only creates confusion. Clarify what is important on a daily basis, if needed.
Be clear about expectations but also open to adjusting them based on new circumstances. Communicate and negotiate your needs for support and care as they change daily.
Set parameters for how you will demonstrate this love for one another care as you cannot know day to day what that needs to look like.
We need to (daily sometimes) remind our partner what we need. For example, if you need connection through the day to feel cared for - Tell them!
"I didn't hear from you today and I felt sad. When I don't hear from you it feels like you don't care and it brings me down. I just need to hear from you and then I feel secure."
Shouting Our Love from the Rooftops
We schedule everything else...why don't we schedule time with our loved one?
Where did we get the idea that our partner should "just know things?"
If our heart is on the line, why aren't we shouting from the rooftops?
We nag about everything else that doesn't matter?
Why are we stubborn about being repetitive, insistent, and dogged about what we need in relationship?